Ever had one of those debilitating moments when you feel like you’re spiralling out of control?
Like suddenly your whole life just stops having substance and you simply flow, like a helpless baby fish coursing through a rapid current.
I have no idea how to stop and is it bad I’m aware this is happening but I’m doing nothing to stop it? To try and take control?
I’m guiltily indulging this trip in the bullet train but as soon as it slows down to one of the stops, reality comes violently knocking on my window and my mind gets plagued with scribbles. So. Many. Scribbles. All jumbled, entangled until no coherent thoughts are possible anymore and all I can do is feel.
Guilt, shame, worthlessness, hopelessness, all of it crunched up into a jumbo scribble filling my mind up.
Ugh. Sometimes I really shouldn’t write my thoughts, I just sound like I’m whining most of the time. But I mean, as long as it goes somewhere and doesn’t fester inside my mind. Am I right?